this week i

borrowed ruffles to tear through the meals on wheels

enjoyed tom's bolognese.  a pleuripotent time.  first date within a week

urge caution otherwise highest level of education will be asked on birth as well as death certificates.  this country worth fighting for

wonder if famous people pace apartments high on marijuana feeling like the masters of the universe.  have young people ever not been existential?

ask what do we do when we solve aging?  say we all have the energy and vital health of twenty five year olds, around the clock and forever, we never hunger, we never tire.  what do we do then?  just enjoy each other's company?  and how do governments respond to a cut and dry cure for aging?  would we open source the instructions immediately, then build out capacity to implement the medical means to inoculate and sterilize everyone?

9/17

this week i

laid my father down into eternity as gently as i knew how.  same home as my mom.  book collection best thing he left me.  now all i have is all of you

 

grilled saturday at eleven.  no friends, no phone calls, no photos.  we shared a meal in larry's garden.  a dignified old age

grilled sunday at eleven, he spoke briefly with liz, with rosemarie, did not touch his food

cancelled sunday evening plans.  upstairs for a shower, downstairs for a cigarette but changed his mind in the foyer and we struggled back up to bed

described symptoms to dr. sherman at noon.  emergency room for eight hours of tests, i pressed silence every 120 seconds, could we solve that one?

thanked the icu nurse at nine, she said she was happy to have met me.  drive back from sibley hospital, too quickly over speed bumps.  my father made like might vomit, i pulled into the church of the little flower parking lot, held a shopping bag in his lap until the dry heaves subsided 

walked with him ten feet from the car to the table.  he sat in the chair exhausted, i scratched four legs across the kitchen and dining room floor, transferred into his comfortable green chair, then the fold out bed.  already mentally planning for this weakness to be the new normal

woke monday-tuesday midnight to the toilet flush, flew downstairs to check he had made it safely back to the living room bed.  tucked him in, adjusted the lights so he had enough to see but not enough to prevent sleep.  failed to fall asleep next to him, coaxed him by one a.m. to let me half carry him up the stairs.  he caught his breath, then rested as the sun rose.  i will not ask the funeral home whether they removed that patch

found him before noon, unresponsive on his bed.  shouted, dialed, followed directions.  tom and jeff waited for the medical examiner with me

told him as much in life, seems to have held.  i will be distraught by your suffering, not by your death.  here on in, my family of my own creation


buried both parents before knowing either for half of their lives.  (parent's age at your birth) > (your age at parent's death)

dad?  can i tell you something?
sure.
can i turn on the light?
okay.
you are the best father that i know of.  it's nonsensical to say that you're the best dad i've ever had, because of course you're the only dad i've ever had.
right.
but this is my thirty seventh year on earth, and i've seen other fathers and sons interact, i've watched stories of fatherhood exemplars.  and never once have i thought that i would trade you for someone else's father.
thank you for that.
i love you, okay?
okay.
are you going back to sleep?
yes i am.

9/10

this week i

published on prescription mail order impacts, tweeted by kamala, calculated in the backyard

cannot distinguish louis dejoy from gordon sondland.  will his testimony share the pig in shit smile?

moved lolade nearby krughoff.  he did not know guy fawkes nor banksy despite parking lot pickleball civil disobedience


watched the first two seasons of atlanta, closed out with nina simone.  unclear if comedy or tragedy.  acoustic cover cringeworthy truth

i'd like to report a debit card stolen...ohhh, champagne's the worst

i just thought you were allergic to girlfriends / she ain't my girlfriend / well make sure you ask her if she wants some of this fire pasta


gave it a try.  sure seems right

9/3

this week i

pay attention to the ministry of truth.  scientific consensus needs amplification against these bottom-feeders

watched the birds (1963), not enough blue jays.  "why are they trying to kill people?"  "i wish i could say"  bodega bay aka australia

recognized madeleine peyroux singing in the shape of water.  are togas just low quality kurtas?  the polish spell vodka wodka.  and aren't we all?

ask if spiders see candles as we see volcanoes?  multitasking should have started and ended with picture in picture


watched betty blue.  milkman mopped up eyeblood handprints just because it was the neighborly thing to do.  mid-eighties france paradise
 

read..

 
representative sampling was designed by statisticians in the 1920s, making it possible for social scientists to discover the attitudes of millions of people by surveying just a small - but mathematically representative - fraction of them.  a new industry of opinion polling, audience research and market research grew over the course of the 1930s, led by companies such as gallup

in a plebiscitary democracy, power lies with the person who designs the questions

(2) arrival in turkmenistan

at istanbul, a team from turkish airlines had arrived at the boarding gate two hours before the flight and set up a perimeter around the desk using stretchy queue barriers.  the entrance was guarded by a number of ground staff.  as soon as i began walking towards it carrying my passport and boarding card, the reason for the precautions became clear.  i was approached by one turkmen after another, each of them cursing when i refused to accept the bubble-wrapped packages they tried to press on me

(3) an unimaginable future

(4) enough to destroy all life on the planet many times over

the us and the soviet union survived the cold war, living on a knife edge of fear that drove each to accumulate more than 30,000 nuclear weapons

(5) transformative justice

mariame kaba, a police and prison abolitionist, emphasizes that a society without such institutions is not so far-fetched: affluent communities-where police do not patrol school halls, where misbehavior in schools results in counseling rather than jail, where people do not worry for their safety, and where addiction and mental illness are treated rather than criminalized-are"living abolition right now," she has said

in a survey of people released from prison in boston.."40 percent...had witnessed someone being killed, nearly half were beaten by their parents...16 percent reported being sexually abused," and half said they had been "serious injured...growing up...almost no one's entry point into violence is committing it"

8/27

this week i

sent two president donald j trump stimulus check sized donations to the dscc.  the older i get, the less i have to lose

bought myself a birthday present (reflexive verb), as if jailed bannon weren't enough (notice his copy).  "noam chomsky:  my favorite newspaper"


 

note james harris lasted less than twelve hours from her selection.  he died august 9th, 2020

 

watched da 5 bloods, not recommended.  big stinky f on the bechdel test, though appreciated flashbacks without age distortion

damn otis, just put the gold on craigslist

received one of my favorite dishes best served cold

speculated on ropeswings and interconnected root systems.  disney saw kongo in buenos aires, vbd one and all

 
read at war with asia, about the extent of deceit.  1969 american counterinsurgency spending in laos overtook that country's gnp

in contrast to the anti-intellectuals, the applied social scientist understands that it is perfectly proper to "rain death from the skies upon an area where there is no war," so long as we "succeed fast"

"so-called communist territory is little but a shooting range"

the bombing is "the most restrained in modern warfare" (as mcgeorge bundy so elegantly put it at the time when virtually every structure in north vietnam, outside of the centers of hanoi and haiphong, was being demolished)

it is this "communist threat" that we have been combating in vietnam, where, as has frequently been noted, vietnamese communism threatens the new order that we have been trying to construct in asia with japan as junior partner, linked to asia by essential colonial relationships.  as president eisenhower expressed it: one of japan's greatest opportunities for increased trade lies in a free and developing southeast asia....the great need in one country is for raw materials, in the other country for manufactured goods.  the two regions complement each other markedly.  by strengthening of vietnam and helping insure the safety of the south pacific and southeast asia, we gradually develop the great trade potential between this region ... and highly industrialized japan to the benefit of both.  in this way freedom in the western pacific will be greatly strengthened

continued mass actions, patient explanation, principled resistance can be boring, depressing.  but those who program the b-52 attacks and the "pacification" exercises are not bored, and as long as they continue in their work, so must we

the bombing of northern laos takes place in a region far removed from the "ho chi minh trail" and has no direct connection to the war in south vietnam.  it is, in fact, directed against civilian targets and has resulted in almost total destruction of most settled areas and forced evacuation of much of the population.  where people remain, they live, for the most part, in caves and tunnels

the objective of the bombing seems to be to destroy the civil society administered by the pathet lao.  quite possibly, the united states is pursuing in laos the dual policy of massive destruction in areas that are beyond the reach of american-controlled armies, and removal of the population to refugee camps and urban slums wherever this is feasible.  this has been the effect of the american escalation, and it is likely that it was the intended effect, as in vietnam

we in saigon are desperate men.  we are a government of desperadoes

arnett quotes an american commander who says, "my orders are to burn everything," and reports that air raids have partially destroyed the town of memot, villages have been burned, and thousands of civilians have fled.  an observer comments: such actions may drive the vietnamese population of the rubber planations into the ranks of the viet kong, and the cambodian population into the arms of the "khmer rouges," if we are not careful

a pathet lao defector interviewed at sam thong reports that the town of sam neua was destroyed in 1965.  in hanoi, i spoke to a member of a non-communist embassy who had just returned from a trip to sam neua.  he too reported that virtually nothing remains above ground, but that life continues in caves

for a country at war, north vietnam seems remarkably relaxed and serene.  we took long walks, unaccompanied, in hanoi and in the countryside

someday, if the war ends, hanoi will be a beautiful city, with its wide tree-lined streets and many lakes and parks

there is no trace of the former village.  the area has been bombed so heavily that even the craters are not delineated, as they generally are along the road.  only the shell of the building that houses the power station remains in the battered plain.  carved in the hills beyond, just visible from where we stood, are the words quyet thang - "determined to win"

the crime of silence
 
8/20

this week i

updated the !file.exists() failure photo in our bookmaking

saw an american goldfinch among the black eyed susans

grilled first meal of the day, revati sent coffee cake that wasn't chokey, matthew installed a reverse wind turbine, ruffles splashed in the potomac
 
cannot believe how much candy i consumed as a child.  still not 100% confident when using the word prodigious in a sentence

watched blazing saddles

the town saloon was always lively,
but never nasty or obscene,
behind the bar stood anal johnston,
he always kept things nice and clean


watched the son's room.  in early 21st century italy, they blowtorch the caskets shut

buonasera

corpo di cristo

era una domenica


read all in the timing by david ives.  walt whitman high school theatre fest 2000 included sure thing, about infinite possible outcomes

after being hit in the head with a mountain-climber's axe, trotsky lived on for thirty-six hours.  i thought it was the funniest thing i'd ever heard

bill: what's the book?
betty: the sound and the fury.
bill: oh.  hemingway.
(bell)
betty: the sound and the fury.
bill: oh. faulkner

maybe you're only interested for the sake of making small talk long enough to ask me back to your place to listen to some music, or because you've rented this great tape for your VCR, or because you've got some terrific unknown django reinhardt record, only all you really want to do is fuck - which you won't do very well - after which you'll go into the bathroom and pee very loudly

dawn: i see.  and "is" is - ?
don: arf.
dawn: "was" is - ?
don: wharf.
dawn: "had been" - ?
don: long wharf.
dawn: and "will be" - ?
don: barf.  arf, wharf, barf.  pasta, prison, furniture dances. [past, present, future tenses.] clara?

trotsky: is it the britannica?
mrs. trotsky: listen to this.
trotsky (to audience): the universe as viewed by the victors.
mrs. trotsky: "on august 20th, 1940, a spanish communist named ramon mercader smashed a mountain-climber's axe into trotsky's skull in coyoacan, a suburb of mexico city.  trotsky died the next day"
trotsky (impatient): yes? and?
mrs. trotsky: i think that there's a mountain-climber's axe in your own skull right now

if you've got a niche, scratch it

do you know that there are separate asylums to hold all the people who think they're the lindbergh baby?

sigmund freud would've had a picnic

jill: so what are you doing with yourself?
loudspeaker voice: "are you still sleeping with that slut from the community college?"
jack: same old thing.
loudspeaker voice: "it's none of your fucking business."
jill: have you tried the chicken?
loudspeaker voice: "have some salmonella?"

the infinite smorgasbord lies before us.  but what do we do?

jack: i'm just curious.  first base?  second base?  shortstop?
ruth: shortstop?
jack: yeah.
ruth: what's shortstop?
jack: you know what shortstop is.
ruth: i never went to an all-boys catholic school.
jack: that's when she lets you work her through her panties but won't let you put your hand inside


8/13

this week i

lost my friend djalma.  he was cool, i hope to be like him some day, writing income inequality software in a home office high above a chaotic city, pausing for lunch when one's partner says so.  a good life led is one of uncompromising change.  i suppose we were colleagues, but he was my friend

8/6

this week i

think venus cool.  year shorter than day.  hottest planet despite not closest.  rotates backwards.  humans landed probe there before mars

jumped from five pull-ups to ten pull-ups because can do that now.  socrates said something about this.  and replace ttfn with ccfn.  ciao!

watched wall-e with its human milkshakes then ernest shackleton's antarctic shipwrecksmartly advertised, they ate seal, penguin, dog

at the end of a watch, your hands had to be chipped off the oars

the ship's biscuit..you look at it for breakfast, you suck it for lunch, you eat it for dinner

shivering in their burberry tunics

schedule send to think about reply, with deadline.  maybe i send a joke scheduled for next 8am, later that night i'll think of a funnier joke

hiked the murphy-chambers farm trail.  jodie foster beat nathan lane and harry connick jr on syndicated jeopardy

7/30

this week i

worked in the heat.




watched talk to her.  benigno and marco form a friendship that wouldn't have occurred in america, lydia's willingness to spend a day with marco while still a stranger revealed the easy socialization of spanish culture.  and bullfighting is a waste of perfectly delicious hamburger

see a little silhouetto of a man, scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango? [he enters a room] thunderbolt and lightning v. v. frightening

asked why do most living things need oxygen?  because oxygen releases energy stored in the foods that carbon based life requires to survive


read..


high child poverty rates are a result of policy choices

give them money

resist oversimplicifcation by showing the complexity of individuals' lives-a special value in a polarized age






the typographic world is one of reflections and doubles

in 1818 anthony bessemer testified to an anti-forgery inquiry that it took him 12 weeks to finish a set of 61 punches

italics and bold are made separately too

look at the letters on this page.  the gaps between individual characters vary to give the impression of even spacing; to account for the tail of a 'y' or the hook of an 'f'; to stop a paired 'AV' from sitting miles apart from one another.  each letter has a kern relationship with its neighbor: one finds it doesn't look nearly so nice without kerning



all lakes are temporary over geologic time scales, as they will slowly fill in with sediments or spill out of the basin containing them

in newfoundland, for example, almost every lake is called a pond, whereas in wisconsin, almost every pond is called a lake

some lakes do not have a natural outflow and lose water solely by evaporation or underground seepage or both.  they are termed endorheic lakes

the shrinking aral sea is described as being "murdered" by the diversion for irrigation of the rivers feeding it

the caspian sea is generally regarded by geographers, biologists and limnologists as a huge inland salt lake.  however, the caspian's large size means that for some purposes it is better modeled as a sea.  geologically, the caspian, black, and mediterranean seas are remnants of the ancient tethys ocean.  politically, the distinction between a sea and a lake may affect how the caspian is treated by international law


7/23

this week i

published on multi-generational households in a pandemic

hung outside.  been seeing my life less linearly as of late


will under no circumstances eat a fish that's encountered a microwave


cut the cheese






Best halloumi grill meze
-Cut pita bread into quarters
-Inside each quarter put a slice of halloumi and tomato
-Grill
-Enjoy deliciousness
(You must have had this in Cyprus, any restaurant would have this as a standard starter)

Omelette with grated halloumi
-Mix 2 eggs with a quarter of halloumi grated
-Mix in 1 teaspoon of dried mint
-Cook as omelette
-this portion serves 1

When eating halloumi with watermelon, eat it cold, no grilling



read evangeline by henry wadsworth longfellow.  latin new scotland up the mississippi then a right turn to philadelphia

the fate of the acadians hinged on international rivalry, and they were little more than pawns in the game

dwelt in the love of god and of man. alike were they free from
fear, that reigns with the tyrant, and envy, the vice of republics.
neither locks had they to their doors, nor bars to their windows;
but their dwellings were open as day and the hearts of the owners;
their richest was poor, and the poorest lived in abundance

under the orchard-trees and down the path to the meadows;
old folk and young together, and children mingled among them.
fairest of all the maids was evangeline, benedict's daughter!
noblest of all the youths was gabriel, son of the blacksmith!

they who dwell there have named it the eden of louisiana

still stands the forests primeval; but far away from its shadow,
side by side, in their nameless graves, the lovers are sleeping.
under the humble walls of the little catholic church yard,
in the heart of the city, they lie, unknown and unnoticed.
daily the tides of life go ebbing and flowing beside them,
thousands of throbbing hearts, where theirs are at rest and forever,
thousands of aching brains, where theirs no longer are busy,
thousands of toiling hands, where theirs have ceased from their labours,
thousands of weary feet, where their have completed their journey!


7/16