this week i

published violence against children and youth surveys.  we watched little shop of horrors in ghost of lincoln theatre, read watterson's the mysteries


hope this life flashing before me takes roughly eighty years to do so.  to not be of the individually-wrapped baby carrot generation.  for these i pray


read of the 38 operational routes across the train tracks of the nation because i stubbornly believe that a railroad adventure isn't just a viable alternative to the great american road trip, but remains the very best way to explore this very large country  great american rail-trail cool too


biked alongside a pterodactyl of a pileated woodpecker in rock creek park, past doctor walking duncan (donuts or macbeth?) to capital crescent



drew silverbacks in the trenches. since caravaggio, does tarantino best capture the confusion accompanying sudden death? not those bleeding out on camera, but the bystanders to the dying - curious observers who've just witnessed final moments of another and will need a couple seconds to decide their next move.  he is a witness or an everyman who, in his failure to act, is complicit in the drama / caught between life and death


call these bathroom mirror mirror selfies. mom up there, this week was her birthday. mom with an o cuz british mum too toilet paper crypt monster-y

read america (the book): a citizen's guide to democracy inaction by the daily show with jon stewart

learn about the founding mothers and figure out which ones were fmilfs

find out where you fall in the line of succession

discovered in the caves of lascaux, france.  "enough already with the hunting and the gathering" (c. 13,000 b.c.) is man's first known representation of ennui

enter a young hot-shot tobacco executive from virginia

due to an early typo, america very nearly became a "democrazy"

"[expletive deleted]" -richard nixon

if the president were the longest recorded flight by a chicken, he would be thirteen seconds

william howard taft came closest, having what most observers agreed were boobs

the only other criterion was height.  the debate over this proposal consisted mostly of thomas jefferson holding a stick over james madison's head and shouting, "you must be this tall to be president"

whenever he wants, the president can go to the white house kitchen and eat all the chocolate out of the neapolitan ice cream, leaving only vanilla and strawberry 

while anarchy can often turn a humdrum weekend into something unforgettable, eventually the mob must be kept from stealing the conch and killing piggy

quorum: the minimum number of lawmakers needed to enact legislation.  similar in concept to the hebrew minyan (10), the argentinian tango (2), or the number of people needed for it to officially count as an orgy (6)

the senate appropriations committee or the house ways and means committee also review most bills.  these committees are concerned with the financial implications of each bill and generally compete in a game to see which chamber has the balls do drive the national debt higher.  it's called "deficit chicken," and it's even more fun when you're drunk

cloture is something all senators seek when a piece of beloved legislation dies

 "jesus, talk about a sausage-fest" -sandra day o'connor, 1981

william rehnquist..a republican, was lucky enough to vote for george w. bush twice.  the second time counted more

 employee of the month..dodecennially

the bichromatic rainbow that is american political thought

when introduced into a marriage, a third party can add a dash of spice and unpredictability to a relationship long loveless and dead

exactly where television originated is a mystery, though most scholars believe prometheus stole it from the gods and gave it to the rca victor company

 tv viewers found richard nixon's appearance disturbing and untrustworthy.  history would prove their superficial judgment 100% correct

all pundits have severe damage in area of brain controlling balance

it's easy to cry on the show because larry king smells like onions

once the rapture has occurred and the saved are off the planet, the democrats will regain both the house and the senate

 name three things about contemporary politics that seem like they're as bad as they could possibly be, but which we'll look back at in 10 years with nostalgia for how simple a time it was

new zealand: australia's canada

spain is the world's largest exporter of naps